21: Moving "delightful possibilities" from pipedreams to reality

How are you feeling today?

Burdened with "responsibilities"? Excited by opportunities and possibilities?

January 18th - I heard this morning that January 18th is the most depressing day of the year. Credit Card bills arrive in the mail - and it's still two looong weeks till pay day. It all just seems a bit TOO MUCH ...

So how can you move from that grey doom and gloom to a colourful uplift of bright hopes in bloom?

My coach and pal, Boris, invited me on Thursday to "Delight yourself in beautiful possibilities". I was so touched by this, it brought a huge smile to my face. I felt nothing cheesy or preachy in this at all. It was, and is, simply gorgeous.

And I keep coming back to it because it is so intuitively pertinent.

When we are feeling overwhelmed - that the mountain is too high - the possibility of achieving our goals; doing what we want to do, being who we truly are and living the life that nourishes and honours who we truly are - can seem so remote.

Sure, our hopes and aspirations tantalise, taunt and tease us - yet they remain bitterly and painfully beyond our reach. The desire may be real, but the likelihood of realising those dreams seems utterly and hopelessly unrealistic.

I know what it's like to feel weighed down with obstacles, challenges, circumstances. I may be a coach but I'm human too! :-)

And ... I also know that identifying too closely with that "possibility deficit" is a huge stumbling block for a coach. Our role, after all, is to help you to expand beyond the limitations that chain you. To help you find new vantage points which open up new possibilities and new pathways.

When I'm hamstrung by internalised limitations of what's "realistic", I can find it hard to shake off other people's stories and "stuff". This is a tough place to coach from. It's like spinning on the spot in a world of "no can do". It's a vortex of frustration, disappointment and despondency. It's a boiling, freezing vat of "no way out" so "what's the point?"

My coach noticed the other day that it's like I was running and running very fast and getting nowhere.

Why am I telling you this? As a coach, it could be professional suicide! Well I'm telling you because I DO understand. I empathise. I know what you're going through. You want to practise your art. You want to act, to write, to paint, to sculpt, to sing, to dance - to play ... and it feels like you can't for more than a few moments. Because you need to eat. You need to pay the rent, the mortgage, replace that old pair of boots that's letting in water and giving you cold feet ... And living your art and from your art - and getting paid handsomely - seem poles apart. An impossible juxtaposition. Possible for the rarified few, but not for you. It's beyond possibility, it's beyond what's "realistic".

I know how all that feels. I'm climbing the mountain with you, sometimes ahead of you, and sometimes right alongside - and always with those nuggets of coaching insight, from my training and the deep wells of wisdom of other coaches whose worlds I'm immersed in.

I'm learning to look beyond long-standing limitations and delight myself in beautiful possibilities. Colours, textures, feelings, sounds, sensations - Ta Boris!

I'm also mentally bookmarking this contribution from Cynthia Morris, in a creative artists coaching online discussion forum:

"I find I cannot say the word 'realistic when working with clients on goals. Who knows what's 'realistic'? So much of what happens is beyond what we recognize as real. Miracles, boons, unexpected outcomes ... we would perhaps never have allowed space for them if we were being realistic."

Plus this extract form The World Needs Your Passion by Corrina Gordon-Barnes:

"Following our hearts, responding to our passion's call, have been sneered at as luxuries that only some of us can afford.

So here's another perspective ... Our duty is to leave the job we don't enjoy, the lifestyle that doesn't fulfil us, and follow our passion. When we look at how interdependent we humans truly are, we can suddenly see that staying in that unfulfilling job is a selfish act. We can see how not following our passion, not doing what we feel called to do is selfish. Our duty, in actual fact, is to sacrifice the drudgery, the complaining, the settling and the plodding, and devote ourselves to discovering and acting upon our deepest desire to contribute."

So, there you have it, on January 18th - the most depressing day of the year - the opportunity to Delight Yourself in Beautiful Possibilities, to follow your passion contribute what the world needs from you, and ignore those finger-wagging exhortations to be "realistic".

Yes there will be challenges. Yes there will be obstacles. Yes, at times you maybe like me wish you could have a magic carpet to fly over them. And maybe that's OKAY! It is, after all, one way of getting around them!

What's important is to believe that they are surmountable.

So go on, delight yourself. You're allowed to!

Here's: the links to Boris, Cynthia and Corrina

http://www.boristhecoach.com

http://www.OriginalImpulse.com

http://www.youinspireme.co.uk

Wishing you a delightful year of sparkling possibilities ...

© Annie Wigman

Dancing Tree

19. Frozen but not Forgotten!

Snow, ice, grit, rain, melt, more snow, ice .. slippety slip

Ah my skittish friends, the kitten may have dropped the blogging ball - but I will blog again when my brain thaws and frees itself from the 2010 big freeze.

When my brain doth thaw

I shall blog once more

Meanwhile, for a while longer

I'll rest till the warmth get stronger!

be back with you soon

with new ball of string

with a new found new bounce

and renewed sense of zing!

Happy New Year

Annie Wigman

Dancing Tree - Sparkletta!

Creative Catalysts, Style Strategists

18. Facing Your Fears

"It's a lot easier to just bury your head in the sand ...."

So said a mate. It's a controversial statement with a comforting ring of "truth". But is it really true? Ask yourself, how does hiding in the sand help you?

In the long-term, Facing Your Fears will serve you so much better.

When fear overwhelms, it's tempting to "hide" and bury your head in the sand. Like the child who cups her eyes and says, "You can't see me know!" She believes she's invisible - but, of course, she is not.

With your head in the sand, the "scary thing" can still see you. It lurks among the grains to haunt you. And guess what? You'll probably suffocate! Isn't that more scary that the source of the original fear?

An effective alternative

How can you un-stick yourself from scared, sand-choked and stuck?

I recently had to ask someone if I could stay on another two weeks. I couldn't predict or control the outcome - and my anxiety was palpable. I remember sitting on the bus with knots in my stomach. But the question had to be asked, the "deed" had to be done.

I summoned up all my inner strength, my experience, my powers of reasoning, negotiation and charm - and found an angle that made a "yes" response a win-win situation for us all.

My quest was a success. If I had not asked - the anxiety would have continued and I would up been "up shit creek without a paddle" as the saying goes.

So, how can you un-stick yourself from scared, sand-choked and stuck?

• Remember that the "sand" is more likely to kill you than the thing you fear.

• Remember that fear is a natural human state. It plays a vital role of alterting us to genuine danger. In manageable doses, it spurs us on to action to make the changes that will enhance our lives. So fear can be a friend - a good thing.

• Recall when - and how - you have overcome fear in the past - and use this to remind yourself that you can do it again! Remember how good it felt when you came out the other side? That buzz? Use it...

Tips for when fear outstays its welcome

1) Play with Perspective

The other night I woke up feeling anxious. Deadlines looming - day of workshops to produce and host, a new home to find. And more. Plates to juggle. Was feeling the pressure.

What helped me get back to sleep? I pictured the thing I feared most and chose to view it as a cuddly, fury toy!

Instead of scary, it became colourful, tactile, sensual and fun. A child's delight!

As soon as I shifted the focus from fear to fun, I began to relax. The butterflies quietened and the fear abated to a manageable dose. I repeated this a couple of times - and within minutes my fear had diminished such that I fell back to sleep. Soundly!

2) Raid your memory banks for previous triumphs

Remember point 3 from above?

Recall when you have overcome fear in the past. Bring to mind that sense of achievement. Embody the buzz. Let the excitement and the energy fill you up.

Focus on the positive facets of facing your fears. Draw on the well of that energy, that resource.

Don't get bogged down in the "How" at this stage. Just luxuriate in the triumph of the outcome. Let it nourish you and heal your wounded soul.

When you're ready you can think about the how. What DID you do? What did you call upon to help you to face that fear? Write it down, draw it - turn it into a piece of music - record it in any way that's meaningful for you.

You can't remember how you did it? No matter. Just know that you did it somehow - which means that you can do it again :-)

3) "So What?" Syndrome

Two small words, one enormous impact.

When the niggling voices of judgement and self-doubt start to bite, toss them a retort of "So what?" Whatever weapon the saboteur armies try to beat you with, parry and disarm them with, "So what?"

So what if .....? So what? ....... Because the likelihood is, it doesn't matter.

You mum wouldn't approve? So what? You might fluff a line in a presentation? So what? World's still turning. The sky is not about to fall in :-)

And take a tip from Byron Katie's The Work; next time you assume your mum, dad, brother, sister, boyfriend, husband, wife, son, daughter, teacher, boss, auntie ethel, grandma / boobeh, the gardener, the milkman, best friend, next-door neighbour - or anyone else - wouldn't approve, ask yourself "How do you Know?"

And, even if you can "prove" it, ask yourself again, "So What?" !

© Annie Wigman

Dancing Tree - Creatively Yours

Helping You with Creativity, Colour, Sparkle, & Style

The tree was huge. Massive. It held me rooted to my spot and it beckoned me to move around.

This ancient and magnificent old oak tree is a Turkish Oak in Dulwich Park. It is so grand it's honoured with a plaque naming it as one of the great trees of London. This tree oozes composure and presence. It has a regal stillness which commands attention and respect. It generates and radiates awe.

I fell in love with this huge tree - it is truly awesome - and yet this tree is just not me. It's not quite the Dancing Tree.

The Dancing Tree is a tropical palm, able to bend and flex in the wind - to deal with with the ravages of wild exuberant nature. This tree can adapt and dance, whatever is being thrown at her. And stay loyal and true to her core. .

How can the Dancing Tree help you?

The Dancing Tree can help you to meet the challenges and frustrations that life throws at you too.

• You're very bright and can write - and yet you struggle and squirm when required to express yourself

• You're a latent, dormant artistic creative who yearns to reclaim and give reign to your artistic drive and desire

• You know you're creative but not quite sure where or how yet!

• You love colour, sensuality, fashion and style - but not quite sure how to put it all together to show you off at your sparkling and charismatic best.

Dancing Tree Creative Catalysts, Style Strategists, for:

• Creativity Coaching - Ignite and reconnect with your artistic and playful creative grooves
• Writing & Presenting - Polish up your writing and public speaking for websites, articles, workshops and blogs
• Style Consulting - Radiate your personal charisma & confidence, colour & style

With the Dancing Tree you get the arching flexibility of the palm, and the secure undertones of regal oak. Like perfume - and like the complex lives we lead - it has layers. Top notes of sensuous, tropical spice, then aftertones that caress you in the warm embrace of a great oak.

A paradox of movement and stillness, of molten silken flexibility and rock solid stability and resolve. A hybrid, eclectic, a juxtaposition ...

... Dancing Tree offers roots to keep you anchored, flexibility to help you move, branches for you to climb and gain new perspectives, fruit to nourish your senses, and leaves to help you to balance, float and fly!

Dancing Tree Creativity with Style

Creatively Yours

Taking You to the Top

Happy New Year!

© Annie Wigman

16: Live Your Life Right for YOU b4 it's a write-off ...

There was the eerie absence of traffic up ahead. The side road blocked off at the junction into the main road. All the vehicles doing a U-turn. Tape. Police. Bystanders ... and a wrecked car, turned on its head and crushed and mangled. And debris ...

I don't know how it happened. I didn't see it. Didn't hear it. Only the aftermath. A sunday morning walk to the supermarket. Had been unremarkable ...

I can't get that picture of pale green remains of a car out of my head. It left me feeling sick to my very soul. I've no idea who was in there. And yet the sight of that mess brought tears to my eyes and left me shaking.

Have you ever heard the sound of a traffic accident? It is a terrible sound. I didn't hear this one but I am still just as haunted.

It's a bank holiday weekend. Weather's set fair for tomorrow. Supposed to be a hot one. Carnival! Music, colour, floats, procession, jerk chicken! rice n peas ...

But this accident was fatal. Car and human life a write-off. I guess it all happened so fast. One minute driving along - the next crashing into a lampost (apparently) and spinning and turning and flinging. And dying ...

I like to be upbeat in these writings. To be a playful kitten. To be the Dancing Tree. To be Sparkletta! Someone said to me yesterday that I'm the happiest complainer they'd ever met! :-)) Yep, I'm a right strop-meister at times, a right little madam princess. And yet it's always tempered by a happy smile and a vibe of positivity. However scared or under duress I feel. There's a part of me that's always anchored, secure in the knowledge that, whatever it takes -whatever hardship I sometimes find myself under - I'm living my life as best I can at the moment, the way that I want it.

It may not be "perfect" - not yet, anyway. There's plenty still to aim for. And, I'm sticking by the things that are important to me. I work part-time, even if it means not always having all the money that I'd like. I work among and with creative, artistic people. I have time to walk in the park, to stop and smell the roses. I don't have to get up at the crack of dawn each blooming day!

I have time to chat, time to amble, time to dream. Time to be as mischievous and playful and curious as a kitten and as foxy and as agile as an adult cheetah.

My life is sometimes trying. I don't always have enough money. Right now, I need to renew my expired Passport and I need to book airline tickets for my nephew's barmitzvah in Israel. And there are at least 2 or maybe 3 courses that I'd hugely like to invest in. All seem frustratingly out of reach at the moment.

And yet there's a calmness, a stillness inside me that's completely happy and content. I'm not a 24-7 corporate drone.

In a couple of weeks it'll be once again Rosh Hashanah. The Jewish New Year. I'm no longer "observant", no longer religious. But I welcome this time of renewal and I wish you all a wonderful, sweet and happy new year. And that you should live your lives as you wish them to be remembered. With fondness, with calm and excitement. And passion. And truth. And wisdom. And mischief. And fun. And music. And art. And colour. And science. Creativity. And sensuality. And integrity. And authenticity. And true to yourself ....

What is the crucial thing that helps you to live the life that's right for you before your life gets written off?

Happy New Year!

Annie x

© Annie Wigman

15. Perfect Pancakes ... Perfect Timing

I was on my way to the park. Is a beautiful, hot and sunny day. Had camera in bag - ready to snap my shots of the flowers in bloom.

Oh, and get an ice cream on the way. A blissful confection of Butterscotch from Hope and Greenwood in Northcross Road. As I turned the corner from Lordship Lane I saw the canopy.

'Perfect Pancakes'. I was tempted - I love the tangy thrill of a lemony, sugary crepe. Yeah, I was tempted - but not quite tempted enough. The ice-cream called first and I was on the ice-cream / sweet shop side of the road.

I got my butterscotch cone and headed on down to the park. Soaked up the sunshine. Revelled in the scents and colours of the flowers. Spotted ducks in the pond and tortoise on the banks.

Got restless - thought about the washing I'd left in the machine that needed another spin before being hung out. Felt guilty that the most 'productive' thing I'd done was buy a picnic blanket at 25% off in the supermarket (the grass in the garden needs rain - it's all dry and prickly). The picnic blanket is soft and comforting - soft enough for a baby even I'd say - and soft enough for a spakletta princess!

Headed home. Crossed the road. Walked by the pancake stand. Chatted to the stallholders - ask them how often they there. They seemed nice. Didn't buy a pancake. Walked on a little way - then turned back. I caught their eye - they caught mine. I was almost at Lordship Lane again but walked back down Northcross Road ...

"Perfect Timing" she said. "We're about to pack up and this is when I get generous - the fruit's got to go ..."

So I had me a perfect crepe, with summer berries - the last of the strawberries and some juicy blackberries to boot. And lemon juice and sugar and golden syrup (the maple had all gone) - and some other berry pulp. "You've created a new flavour!" she told me. Kitten with a ball of pancake - all playful and creative. :-) 

It was the end of their day - and I got four toppings instead of two for £2.50 - and extra fruit too. Kitten with a ball of mischief got more pancake for her pennies!

And the flower pics too. A joyful little jaunt all round. And oh, so simple, and oh, so (semi) spontaneous.

That was mine for today. I'd love to learn, what are your tips for the sauce of spontaneous joy? Please write your comments and let me know.

Enjoy the sunshine!

© Annie Wigman

Dancing Tree - Sparkletta!

14. Solitude- Sol y Solo

It's a beautiful sunny day. It's a bank holiday weekend. And I'm sitting alone in the garden. 

It's peaceful. There is birdsong, the humming of bees, a gentle breeze and the sound of not too distant laughter. I love the sun. It would be perfect - but for the fact that it's a bank holiday weekend and I'm sitting alone in the garden. Sunshine a la Solo.

I'm grateful for the warm sunshine. I'm grateful for the garden. I'm grateful that I don't have to work today. I'm grateful that my time is my own; that right now I am obliged to no-one. No duties to dutifully perform, no chores needing my attention. No children to keep entertained, no elderly relatives to get anxious over. I am not rushed off my feet. I am not tired, exhausted, over-stretched. I am not busy with busyness.

My housemates are away. I have the house and the garden and the sunshine all to myself. I know many who would kill for this. Or at least they think they would. 

How about you? Do you feel busy and overwhelmed with things to do? Do you crave an oasis of solitude? Your moment in the sunshine with not a care in the world? I can understand that.

And yet to me, this path is NOT completely blissful and carefree. Whilst striving to walk the path of gratitude, truth is I also feel like a dancing tree with no-one to dance with. Like a kitten with no ball of string to play with. I'm sitting here waiting to see if my friend will call me back.

We had plans to go to the movies. A tentative plan, not one set in stone. Will it happen? I've called. I've texted. No reply. It's gloriously sunny and, well who wants to be indoors? And yet still, I just want someone to play with! Indoors, Outdoors, with a ball of string.

Sometimes things don't go perfectly to plan. Sometimes life can seem "less than .."

Today I've had a moan coz I'm feeling all alone. And yet when all is said and done, I'm in the garden in the sun!

What do you do to get yourself out of the mired and into the realm of the inspired?

© Annie Wigman

Dancing Tree Coaching - Sparkletta!